Oct. 24th, 2016 08:01 am
itsamellama: (Default)
(crossposted from my personal Facebook)

I've been getting a lot better at not feeling bad about """"down""" times (lots of quotes, because I think the pressure of society makes one feel as if every minute must be spent doing something life-changing). The other day I got up a lot later than I would have liked, but instead of thinking I "should" have got up, I asked myself, "Do you need more time to rest? When will you be ready to get up?" And what do you know? I eventually got up, made myself breakfast, showered, even had the energy to go out from one city to another and have coffee and cake with my mother. And come home, and do the groceries with my partner. When back when I wrote this I would have probably stayed in bed feeling bad for myself and getting angry at myself for "wasting time"...

Yesterday--because she asked if what she heard was true--I came out and told my mother I did in fact go to therapy on my own after raising some funds online, and I told her that I did have depression and anxiety.

She asked me, "How are you now? Do you think you're okay now?"

I said I was a lot better now, that the therapy really changed my life--and I felt so sad that it's still inaccessible to a lot of people, a lot of warm-hearted people who really need it--and that I wanted to do something about battling the stigma against mental illness. That I wanted to help with mental health advocacy.

It turns out my mom is now actively helping with mental health advocacies too.

And I feel a lot better now that I could finally tell her without fear of being reprimanded for my mental and emotional needs. No, I don't think we've gotten to the nitty-gritty of things--but we've finally touched based on the surface level and I think that counts for something, one rainy day at a cozy little cafe, our embrace warmer than the coffee in our cups.
itsamellama: (Default)
It's one of Those Weeks and Days (TM), and I could use all the affirmative messages I can right now. :(

Thanks so much in advance.
itsamellama: (Shy)

I'm just going to leave this here before I back out and squeak from shyness...

P.S. Please suggest some topics for me to talk about! And, uhm, enjoy my rambly intro?
itsamellama: (OMG <3)
(cross-posting this everywhere because ;____; ♥ )

I'm feeling so completely overwhelmed with gratefulness tonight. I was afraid that if I shared my problems out in the open, I would be met with a deluge of comments ranging from "attention-seeker" to "depression isn't real" to "you're faking". So I was really afraid when I decided to try sharing it here, bracing myself for the worst.

I was completely wrong. Instead, all I have been met with is unwavering kindness, support, and love from my friends. Some have offered to contribute to my fund by donating or commissioning me. A lot have spread the word. So many have given me encouraging words. I've even been given tips on places I could go to for therapy, and had a great friend offer to do art commissions in exchange for donations for me. Yes, the site itself may not be overflowing with donations, but there is no monetary value for the generosity I have received here, coupled with the acts of kindness of my online friends as well.

And now I think: why in the world did I ever think any of these wonderful people would judge me in the first place?

Thank you, thank you, thank you so much. Even just your moral support was able to give me another boost to finish more of my work tonight. I am so lucky to have such understanding people in my life.

/cries okay there i made a coherent status now let me sob emotionally in this slash bar for actions oh god this is so sappy but I am so filled with love right now I love you all so much!!!

* If you'd still like to contribute, my main therapy fundraiser site can be found here:
itsamellama: (Default)


My super awesome wonderful kind friend Eren is offering art commissions in exchange for donations for my depression and anxiety therapy fundraiser! CHECK OUT THESE SWEET SAMPLES BELOW (CLICK FOR FULL VIEW):

Sketch Commissions - $15


Quick Color Commissions - $20


Shaded Color Commissions - $40


Just go to the the main fundraiser page and select the reward you'd like on the right when donating. Then, all you have to do is e-mail a screencap of your donation receipt with the reward selected to erenrusso@gmail.com! You can also leave a comment on the page to let me know.

P.S. I have such amazing friends and I am so lucky to have them in my life!!! How do I express this without splashing hearts all over this entry!? <3 <3 <3 Thank you so much dear, and to everyone who's donated, offered me their moral support, and shared the word so far!!!

itsamellama: (Shy)
(crossposted from this post on my art blog on tumblr)

Please help me save up for therapy and medication to recover from depression and anxiety.

This is a little embarrassing, but I feel so stuck in regards to this. )

So… thank you for any help you can give me.

As noted in the page, if you prefer to get something in return for funds, I also take art commissions, and my friends and I have a list of online stores (that we will hopefully update with new stock soon) at the bottom of this post. I’m doing my best to finish my current queue so I can open up new slots.

Thank you for your kindness, patience, and understanding. Even sharing this with your friends would help a great deal.

- Mel

(ETA on DW: If anyone is curious... Icon Day 02 funds are not counted in the fundraiser because I still owe all of you your products, and so I'm keeping them on standby in case any of you would prefer a refund for having to wait so long for me to start. Wouldn't be right for me to spend money for something I haven't given my part of the bargain of.)


I'm Mel, a Filipina artist and writer. I'm an MA Creative Writing student working on her own projects at the same time. Nice to meet you!