itsamellama: (Default)
I need new eyeglasses but am on a tight budget... especially because for the first time ever, I accidentally stepped on my glasses in the dark. ;_; (That was actually a couple of weeks ago, but, erm, I've been keeping it mostly together with scotch tape, hah.)

I was delighted when I found that the optical shop I usually get my glasses at had a branch near me...

... but now that I need them, I just found out they're closed for good. ;_; w h y

I suppose I could try out the other shops in the nearby malls, but doing a quick google search made me wince at the prices. ;___; My options are to either attempt to find cheap glasses at Quiapo (and I'm unfamiliar with that particular area) or to take a trip to family!home and get my glasses done there... and I'll have to come back and pick them up later too. Ahaha.

I wish I could still borrow my mom's tiny tiny laptop so I could just sleep at family!home and work there while I do, but... you make do with what you have, yeah? ;_;
itsamellama: (THUD zzz)


Annnnd I started my shift one hour ago, hahaha. Kinda feels like freelance, except this time sharing an office with people annnnd it's not your house...

Rgghhh, I wish I hadn't thought to leave my Icon Day works in progress at the Family!House (I decided to, because I had more space for art materials there); I wasn't able to get home because it was also raining badly all weekend, and I could've done them while waiting around the office hoping for the floods to subside, but ohwell. :(

I'm probably going to do the icons in a tiny sketchbook or something next time if I were to go traditional again, haha. Something I can always bring around with me, so I can do it whenever. And probably with a more portable medium like portable watercolors maybe? Markers aren't easy to carry around if you use buttloads of them for shading T_T I might go digital with the other icons if I still can't get home, just so I can finish them off.


I am so so sorry for taking forever with them. T_T I have 10 or so to gooo...
itsamellama: (Default)
(content notes: betrayal, financial problems)

I always want to believe in people. I always want to trust them, because when I've asked for help, even financial, people, even strangers, have always come forward to help me, trusting in my word, and people have believed in me and helped me twice now, and so I believed I should pay it forward and help others too.

So to find out that somebody used me for their own gains - lied straight to my face about their circumstances, saying they had nobody left to help them, that they were all alone, that they had not even a cent left in their pocket, even going as far as to lay great emotional stress on me by claiming I was their "only hope" and begging, begging me to help with their rent - when in the end, I gave them enough to go home to her family in the province, so that they may rest and so they may recover...

To find out that none of the hardships she told me was ever true, and yet she knew I was also struggling with finances, with depression, with getting by, when she knew I was jobless at the time and gave her what little I could afford to help with -

I will still trust in people. I will still help wherever possible. It is the least I can do to pay forward the unrelenting kindness and generosity other people have given me, in the two instances I've asked for help to raise funds in order to get to a better place, first mentally and emotionally, and, the second, physically.

But you have betrayed me. We are no longer friends.

Do not mistake my kindness for weakness.

Context: I just found out the friend who had been giving me all the stress in the world by claiming she needed money for rent - the same friend who 'lost' my film SLR (which I doubt, now), the same friend who I helped so much with jobhunting - lied to my face. Instead of rent, I gave - gave - her money to go home to her family in the province. It makes sense now why she claimed she still had to go home and get her things, when we met and she also returned my paints to me, because I offered to see her off at the bus terminal. (The paints were in huge cans, so I thought to myself: perhaps it's just too heavy to carry everything in one go, but it was still weird since she claimed she hardly had enough money left for commuting.) Turns out she never went home after all. Turns out her family was in the city this entire time. Turns out she was with them this entire time. Turns out she even lies to her family too.

I won't stop helping people, but this... is crushing. I am making this public in case they ever run across this by themselves. You should be ashamed of yourself.
itsamellama: (Default)
CW: rains, floods. )

We're safe since we're on the 3rd floor, but… y'know… not looking forward to another week of no water and electricity if this worsens. :(


I'm Mel, a Filipina artist and writer. I'm an MA Creative Writing student working on her own projects at the same time. Nice to meet you!