itsamellama: (Artistic)
Updated September 23, 2014.

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itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
I gots me a haircut.

Under the cut... )

It's been... a quiet whirlwind, is what I'll call it. Still waiting on papers from the Bureau of Immigration, hopefully it makes it in time for my Japan trip. We got good discount deals on the plane tickets, so... fingers crossed.

I've come to accept that I won't be able to push myself so hard that I'll graduate this semester. But I'm going to at least work hard to get my revisions done so I can make it to proposal defense.

I feel like I had more to say but apart from trying to keep my house from falling apart (pest control! keeping the kitchen sink clear and clean! chores! errands! budgeting!), that's about it.
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
Hi hi, friends :D

I figured I would just put this out there in case anybody might be interested.

Basically I have a web hosting account I currently use that... I've barely used even the fraction of the space and bandwidth of, atm, and I wanted to offer to split up the cost of the plan with whomever might be interested? Currently what I know to do is set up individual WordPress accounts per subdomain, and you can access yours easily from your own log-in page. (Yay!)

For the sake of transparency, my current web hosting plan is at around $60 per year. It currently gives me 10GB. I've only used... not even half of a GB (I mostly have portfolio and blog sites, for reference. Although they haven't grown in scale or anything. So.)

So the more there are of us, the cheaper it will cost per year. If I can get one web roomie, it's $30 per year for each. If I had 2 roomies, $20 per year. 3 roomies, $15 per year... and so on. If you're putting up, say a portfolio or any site that isn't going to rely heavily on huge media files that take up a lot of space, we're golden. :D If you're going to be using a custom domain name, we can just figure out how to attach your current one (if you already own one) to my webhost. :D If you don't have one yet, you can buy one from any provider? (I currently use Gandi, just for convenience, but they're a little pricier in terms of domain names, iirc.) If you're okay with having it be a subdomain without a custom domain name (ex. 'yournamehere' then you just pay for the cost of webhosting.

For those who aren't going to be using WordPress, I can still look into whether I can provide FTP access that's password-locked and stuff too. But I'm not 100% sure on that ATM. I haven't really had the time to. :(

So, uhm, yes. If you're interested, please PM me~ or if you know anybody who might be interested too.

(This is brought to you by Mel needing to figure out what to cut from her yearly expenses because thesis has been eating my life and thus haven't had time to do more projects that pay so I am trying to see how to make things win-win for everybody. Whee?)
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
As always, no obligations and no pressure! ♥

My Christmas wishlist is basically mostly subscriptions and digital purchases! While I think they can be bought for me, I think they might be more expensive if it finds you're in another country (???). Not too sure on that... so let me know if the prices are showing up differently on your end? @_@

1. Spotify annual subscription (~$35 or so in our pricing?)
2. Evernote Premium annual subscription (~$25 in our pricing?)
3. Omnifocus 2 Pro Upgrade (phone) ($20) or an Apple Store gift card (although I'm using the Philippine store I think, not the US one!)
4. Amazon Kindle E-Books Wishlist! Currently eyeing the latest Getting Things Done Kindle Edition. I also accept gift cards!
5. Moleskine sketchbooks and watercolor books from Book Depository (free international shipping! I can give you my address :'D)
6. Postcards or letters from you! :) PM me for address~
7. Steam games wishlist! Although I also accept gift cards :D

And, as always, any tips you could so kindly drop into the tip jar. I'm currently saving up for a proper (hopefully ergonormic!) work desk!

You can also leave a tip via Gumroad!

And, while I have been woefully struggling with updating the Patreon, I always always appreciate having more patrons. I will be uploading some art to it shortly--and may probablyyyy revamp it to be more of an art patreon because I am honestly getting so confused trying to come up with rewards specifically for art-related stuff, haha. Me? Hold another Patreon for writing stuff because I'm intense? Mayyyybe... T_T but I will head to the gym first, and then scan in some ahrt when I get home!!

itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
:D I've only gone back to sleep after breakfast today! ... erm. Haha. Well, I managed to stay up the last few days (except Sunday--I was a very lazy, very sleepy loaf.) I think what works for me is having my partner help me wake up (he's been making breakfast lately, although I try to help out), eating, then washing the dishes right after to stay up/keep myself tempted from sleeping. Also, turning off the AC helps me get into work mode, for some reason... I guess because I'm not too comfy! (Although I might have to turn it back on if I'm doing digital artwork, as it can make my laptop overheat...)

I think I'll look into getting a sun lamp as somebody suggested, but I'm not sure they're locally available...

Another thing I should try is to make that one hour before 'work time' be some form of fun time... maybe drawing? Reading some articles? Watching a video? I try to get my butt working at 8am, and log out at around 3pm (then I go work out at a gym, three times a week!) But my partner gets up around 5.30am (sometimes earlier?!), so I wake up along with him, and we usually finish eating in under an hour, so that's... lots of time before I'm supposed to work. (I'm trying NOT to send myself straight to work after eating/waking up.)
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
I need new eyeglasses but am on a tight budget... especially because for the first time ever, I accidentally stepped on my glasses in the dark. ;_; (That was actually a couple of weeks ago, but, erm, I've been keeping it mostly together with scotch tape, hah.)

I was delighted when I found that the optical shop I usually get my glasses at had a branch near me...

... but now that I need them, I just found out they're closed for good. ;_; w h y

I suppose I could try out the other shops in the nearby malls, but doing a quick google search made me wince at the prices. ;___; My options are to either attempt to find cheap glasses at Quiapo (and I'm unfamiliar with that particular area) or to take a trip to family!home and get my glasses done there... and I'll have to come back and pick them up later too. Ahaha.

I wish I could still borrow my mom's tiny tiny laptop so I could just sleep at family!home and work there while I do, but... you make do with what you have, yeah? ;_;
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
u_u Does anybody have any advice for somebody who keeps crawling back into the bed covers every time they're done eating breakfast? The extra sleep I've been taking ranges from 1.5 hrs to 4 hrs. Today it was about 2 hours... granted, this has only been going on for the last three days, so maybe it's just a thing I'll get out of?

I'd really appreciate any advice I can get. I feel like it's due to just... not wanting to face the day, maybe being afraid of something--of submitting lackluster work? Which makes no sense because I've been doing just fine for months now. I feel like last week's political events may have had something to do with with my overall drop in feelings.

But yeah, I appreciate any advice I can get. I might try to make a list of 'Things to Look Forward To When I Get Up' tonight.
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
I don't actually know if I'll have enough time to reply to comments, but I'll try! I'd really like to get back into writing for myself, as encouraged by my friends who are getting back into it lately, haha. Nabbed from [profile] thebonesoffersallletters
Give me a potential title and I'll tell you about the story I would write for it.


Oct. 24th, 2016 08:01 am
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
(crossposted from my personal Facebook)

I've been getting a lot better at not feeling bad about """"down""" times (lots of quotes, because I think the pressure of society makes one feel as if every minute must be spent doing something life-changing). The other day I got up a lot later than I would have liked, but instead of thinking I "should" have got up, I asked myself, "Do you need more time to rest? When will you be ready to get up?" And what do you know? I eventually got up, made myself breakfast, showered, even had the energy to go out from one city to another and have coffee and cake with my mother. And come home, and do the groceries with my partner. When back when I wrote this I would have probably stayed in bed feeling bad for myself and getting angry at myself for "wasting time"...

Yesterday--because she asked if what she heard was true--I came out and told my mother I did in fact go to therapy on my own after raising some funds online, and I told her that I did have depression and anxiety.

She asked me, "How are you now? Do you think you're okay now?"

I said I was a lot better now, that the therapy really changed my life--and I felt so sad that it's still inaccessible to a lot of people, a lot of warm-hearted people who really need it--and that I wanted to do something about battling the stigma against mental illness. That I wanted to help with mental health advocacy.

It turns out my mom is now actively helping with mental health advocacies too.

And I feel a lot better now that I could finally tell her without fear of being reprimanded for my mental and emotional needs. No, I don't think we've gotten to the nitty-gritty of things--but we've finally touched based on the surface level and I think that counts for something, one rainy day at a cozy little cafe, our embrace warmer than the coffee in our cups.
itsamellama: (Loved)
It's afternoon where I am, at least. I spent my morning taking a long walk and finally playing Pokemon Go (yay, super cheap data plans I can afford on my tiny budget!), so I finally just reached level 10 ; w;

Yesterday, I jogged/ran for 1 hr, and according to Strava, I hit 6km??? I am joining a marathon in early Sept, I hope I can be prepared by then.

Tonight, I'll be having dinner with my partner at a really nice Japanese restaurant we tried recently :D I'm really looking forward to it~

TL;DR: August has been a very difficult month so far! )

If you'd like to treat me to something for my birthday, dropping something in the tip jar would be awesome~

(You can also leave a tip via Gumroad~)

Things that would make my year: slowly building up my Patreon total, even a dollar a month really, really helps, especially now that I'm back to studying + part-time freelancing ; w ; ♥

Thank you so much!!!
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
My internet's still awful (one week and going! Awesome.) and my birthday month's still kind of... kicking me in the teeth. But, hey, at least I dyed my hair pink (FINALLY):

under the cut )
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
It's one of Those Weeks and Days (TM), and I could use all the affirmative messages I can right now. :(

Thanks so much in advance.
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)

I would like to do a quick poll, for those already supporting my work (thank you!), and those who have thought of doing so but have not yet. Cross-posted from my Patreon:

In the interests of making sure I can provide more of what tickles your fancy and brightens your day when you see your Patreon dash, I would like to ask a few questions, which I hope will help me better serve you:

1. When you pledged to this campaign, did you pledge for something specifically? For example, did you pledge because you enjoy my art posts and want to see more of them? Or did you pledge for my writing posts? Or was it the crafting posts that got your attention? Or are you pledging in general to support me for all of those things?

2. What would you like to see me post more of? (I know I have been terribly lacking in this aspect. In turn, I have been reworking my rewards and goals, and trying to come up with systems to make these easier to get to you!) Are there certain rewards you would like to see? Are there rewards you wanted to get but couldn't because of price points?

Thank you so much for your time :D I promise to take everything into account, so that this campaign will be better and brighter than ever <3

All the best,
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
Content notes: decluttering, mention of expired food (sob)

Under the cut... )
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
Me. :)) Eesh, I'm so bad at replying ASAP to things, so if you see a couple of short messages in your inbox, that might be me responding with micro-squees, hahaha.

In terms of what's been up:


• I finally invested in a WACOM Cintiq 13 HD! I am still doing my best not to freak out over "OMG HOW DARE SPEND LARGE AMOUNT OF MONEY ON EQUIPMENT THAT WILL MAKE THINGS EASIER!!!" but so far using it has been a dream. It's also not too cramped as I feared it would be like my Yiynova DP10U! I might sell the latter, still thinking about whether to sell my old Intuos4 tablet, too. I could probably do international shipping too, but I'd have to look into shipping fees. :o

Couldn't have afforded it (or had the healthy brainz to convince myself to get it w/o irrational financial guilt) without everybody's support, either! So, again, thank you so so so so so SO much for helping me get to this point. ♥

• I've set a healthier freelancing balance to work on MWFs for 8 hours a day, so I can set aside TTH for thesis times. I hope this works out better than my 'original' schedule of MWF for school and TTH for freelance. :o I'm currently on my self-appointed lunch and funtimez break before doing my last four hours for freelance, and I think I've been really productive today so far. :D

On the plus side, I've been behaved and haven't claimed much new regular work, huzzah. As tempting as it really, really is for workaholics like me. I have... two regular clients, and I take on one extra short-term project if I feel like I'm up to it (usually art), and that's it. Let's see if I can keep this up. :o

• what is thesis. what is MA. Kidding aside, I hope to really REALLY pick up the pace on my research and annotated bibliography tomorrow. Merp. I really dropped the ball on this having worked more on freelancing and making sure I have enough to pay the bills each month. D: (Financial guilt, stop being on overdrive.)

• I've been playing Final Fantasy XIII on and off. We recently bought Beyond: Two Souls, too, and Aiken bought a PS3 port of Persona 4. I'm trying to be just as behaved with regards to buying too many games without finishing them, ahahaha.

• We finished Erased (Bokudake) a few weeks back, and my partner's getting me started on Sword Art Online, which he only started this week, too. It's.... interesting, I suppose, but I'm really frustrated by all the unnecessary fanservice, and too much stuff doesn't make logical sense, but, eh. Makes me want to rewatch .hack//SIGN and see if it's still as good as I remember it from my teen years, hahaha.

• I also watched a few episodes of the PPG reboot with my boyfriend and oh boy maybe it's a generation thing but I found it so, so bland. :( I've been meaning to write an analysis comparing the original to the reboot, and what I think are the pros and cons of both. I admit it may be nostalgia talking but I feel like the original had a lot more to bring to the table. Can't be certain unless I do a full rewatch of the whole seasons from both versions, hahaha.

• Help, I can't stop squishing my adorable pink seal plushie. I have given it several nicknames including "Strawberrybb" and "Tempura." It's so destressing just to look at it, I almost wish it were an actual living pet, ahahaha. I've missed letting little things that seem like luxuries, such as plushies, bring a little more fun and light into my life, hahaha.
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
Image under the cut! )


As you might be able to tell, I am trying to make it a habit to make more public posts to dreamwidth, as I quite miss being involved here in some way or another. *_* I've been kicked in the butt multiple times by freelance work so far, and I am exhausted, but I promised myself I'd pamper myself today and tomorrow before I go back into the full swing of it. Overall it's been all good and I think I didn't do too bad for my first foray back into the writing business on my own. :D


There was a flash fiction contest I tried to join but then at the last minute, I decided against it, because it was so... vague. Even if it was two corporations that were both legit, all the photo said was, "submit your story to [email] and get a chance to win [x] prizes and get published in [x]!" Not even a link to a post with mechanics, or what happens to your rights after you submit... and they didn't make one, despite tons of people asking in the comments (though they did respond, it seems). I err on the side of caution that if they don't take the effort to make a page compiling their rules and copyright stance, I'll just... not risk it?

On the bright side, I have about 150 words of a seedlet for a possible new short story... about two girls who have run away... I don't know if I can pull off what I want to do with it. Maybe I can even use this for my thesis...?

So many workshops and anthologies I want to join, but one at a time, self. You've just started getting this freelance working thing down again (albeit you kind of overdid it, ahaha, tho some of that was no fault of your own)... it takes time to master something. :)


I still need to fix my schedule for schoolwork... I definitely did not do well on that. But, progress!

How are you all? :)
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
under cut cuz omg big )

*squee* ♥

(Yes we celebrated our anniversary two weeks late, ahahaha.)
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)
I had some things I wanted to get done over the weekend, but I got taken down for the count by various physical circumstances beyond my control. As a result, I not only am struggling with feeling bad because of not feeling all that well, but am also fighting off the brain bugs for not getting the work I wanted to get done, well, done.

It's hard, and I still feel 'bleh,' but I think I am doing a pretty good job of controlling the brain bugs, though? I feel like I've scooped them up in a jar and they're still there but I can just stare at them and know that they can't hurt me if I keep them at a distance.

And it kind of amazes me that I can actually keep them at bay on my own now.

I think, overall, I really am doing much better now than I was one, two, three years ago. It started with therapy (thank you again, everybody who helped me raise money for it---I owe you so much), then I was able to afford to move out (again, thank you, everybody, for your generosity in helping me raise enough).

Since I made the major decision to quit my latest day-job to pursue and finally finish my MA studies as well as pursue personal projects while dipping my toes into freelancing again, I've been feeling... more confident? I'm able to talk myself out of feeling bad for irrational reasons now.

I have stress, sure (who doesn't, when one has to find a way to pay the bills and finish studies?), but it doesn't feel like an impending sense of doom anymore. I don't feel stressed out every day to the point that I always have something to complain about or feel like I'm hopeless. I have days when I freeze and think "oh no I am an adult on my own what do", but I've been able to figure things out.

I've been doing this since last year, but especially since I started working from home, I've been learning how to cook new dishes (I recently tried pork lumpiang shanghai and fried rice. I'm quite excited to make more!), and am still mastering the art of batch-cooking food for the week (might need bigger pots and pans for that and more food containers, but our place is so tiny, hence tiny pots and pans) and making sure we buy only enough groceries for the week that won't go bad (I almost had this down last week! Almost.)

I find it nice that I've been allowing myself to make mistakes when I cook--something I still have trouble affording myself when art-ing or writing--but I did experiment entirely with that art piece in my last post (nothing was planned- I just started with a sketch of a face I had done last year as my base). It's great! I wonder if I can still do this for all my stuff.

Basically, erm, yes. I'm in a much better headspace now. I do still get pangs of depression and anxiety, but I'm so much better able to handle them now. I don't feel anywhere near as hopeless as I used to feel? Take these delays in my MA, for instance. Instead of crushing myself for not making it on time, I figured out it's not the end of the world, and I can still make up for it. Tell this to Mel 1-3 years ago and she would've crumbled completely.

I still wish I could multiply myself to get everything I wanted done - chores, work, personal stuff - but I think I am getting a better awareness of just how many hours there are in a day and just how much I can realistically get done without burning myself out. On the flip side, I need to master how to not end up fuffing about the whole day either.

I have a lot more I want to say, but I think I'll end here for now. I think I feel better being able to talk about this out in the open too. :) Thank you, thank you, thank you all for being so kind to me.
itsamellama: Mel making a puffy face (Default)

I managed to finish a thing this month, hooray! I will be scanning and posting the full artwork later today on my Patreon later today. :3


I'm Mel, a Filipina artist and writer. I'm an MA Creative Writing student working on her own projects at the same time. Nice to meet you!